CamelliaSi

Tired, and anxious, and fed up. I'm tired of feeling like this all the time, I can't focus, I can't get anything done, and when I don't, I freak out about that too. I can't stop comparing myself to people. I'm homesick, which is something I've never felt before. I feel like I'm trapped in my head, I want to get out but I wont let myself for some reason, so I sit around dwelling on shit. I want to be better than the people I complain about, but I know I'm worse. I'm just tired of this, tired and done. I don't want to go through this again.

I really wanna draw something but I'm on break and I left all my art supplies back in Boston. ;^; I'm half-way to just going out and buying a new set of pens just so I can draw here, I can always color when I get back to school. Bluhhh it doesn't help that I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere with my family and obnoxiously slow wifi. Gosh darn it, why can't I FEEL creative when I have the means to BE creative.

So I have to write some stupid reflection for the front page of my writing portfolio. I can't even think right now. I think my first semester of college just like... Ate my brain. On another note, I've decided that the internet is a seething pot of hatred, despair, and attention whoring. I'm just so fucking tired of it, I mean seriously. I can't even refresh a page without seeing someone attacking someone else for whatever. Every thirty seconds somebody "quits" for one reason or another. The entire world decides that the internet is the PERFECT place to unload all their depressing thoughts for everyone to see (which, of course, is exactly wh